I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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