He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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