Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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