it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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