But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
