Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
