we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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