oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
