and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
