you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
