butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
