Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza