your room smells of hookers.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
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we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
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It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'