I saw his package. It spoke to me.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me