I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.