Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(801): View more from Utah

My underwear smells like fireworks.

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(925): View more from California

He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball

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(301): View more from Maryland

I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes

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(734): View more from Michigan

going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.

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(503): View more from Oregon

Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...

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(805): View more from California

Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.

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(614): View more from Ohio

This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue

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(530): View more from California

You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?

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