I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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