To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
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