I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
