Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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