we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
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I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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