idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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