dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Randomize
