This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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