He disabled his match.com account in front of me
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize