i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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