Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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