Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
