The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Randomize
