So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
