i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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