I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
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