.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
