we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
