Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
