You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
