I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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