I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Randomize
