I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
