you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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