you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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