Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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