Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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