Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
