I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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