You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize
