I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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