Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I think your dad took our porno
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
