my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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