Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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