You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
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