Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize