Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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