I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
