apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
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he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
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She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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