I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
