her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
