I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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