I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
