you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
