i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
