Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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