he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
