soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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