I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
