Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I bet he comes in French.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
