Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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