yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Randomize
