im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
