i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
birth control should be required to get into college
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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